The Kiss of Death

The words I have feared my entire life have finally been spoken......

"You have such a pretty face"

Why? Oh universe why did I have to hear these words. OK so you may wonder: Casey - why do you care if someone compliments you in such a way? Well lets break it down. There is a difference between "You are so pretty" and " You have such a pretty face". "You are pretty" means well that in general all around you are easy on the eyes. "You have such a pretty face" means well .....well..... it means you have potential to be very pretty if it weren 't for the fact that you are fat. Ok so yes, I can hear how petty I sound, and don't worry I write this post with a definitate undertone of sarcasm. But, I am not going to lie why I admit I cringed a bit when the compliment was given. I smiled. I said thank you. But, inside the skinny girl in me cried a little tear of loss.

I think it is best  maybe I write a short list of things not to say to an overweight person.

1. You have such a pretty face.  (and the rest of me buddy - what? not so much?)
2. Wow you've lost soooooooo much weight. (really thanks I didn't realize just how fat I was)
3. Oh my god I am so fat I weight 140 lbs (says the skinny bitch to the girl who is over 200 lbs)


Keep in mind we fat people might have more cushioning but that doesn't mean we don't have feelings. LOL

So all a girl can do when she is faced at this sad milestone, is use it to motivate her more. I am happy to say I did not gain any weight over Thanksgiving, and I am planning on staying strict on my healthy eating plan until Christmas. It would be an awesome holiday miracle if I lost weight over the holidays!

Week 20 - 32 Weeks To Go

Well I have officially fallen behind my goal. I am hovering at about 15-17 lbs lost so far. I should be at 19, and here it is about to be Thanksgiving and Christmas and I am petrified that if I can't lose weight during non-holiday months then how will I ever pull weight loss off during the holidays? If only it were as simple as just saying "ok I'll take 2 cheat days". Yeah right ! It's like the whole month is filled with holiday parties and food food food! And, not just any food , holiday food. Holiday food is the best! Just not the best for my butt.


I'm going to have to give this some more thought and try and come up with a game plan to win the war of the holiday bulge.

Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

I have been taking an array of medications since July when I was properly diagnosed with PCOS. I would be lying if I said these medications did not make me feel awful. I am tired of feeling awful. It is nasuea, its a slow burn in my gutt, its spending half the day in the bathroom. I'm just tired of it. So I have decided to make this my new motivation for jump starting my weight loss again. I have heard, and I believe, that if I lose weight I may very well be able to get off of the medications that I am on. That would be fantastic!

The Reasons People Lose Weight

"If losing weight were easy we'd all look great"

"I wish I was as thin as I was when I thought I was fat"


So what is it with people, why are we always trying to lose weight? I'm not going to argue that American's are overweight, but it seems like people who are healthy weights still complain and wish they could change. You know who I am talking about that size 5 friend who looks great but is always complaining they wish they were a size 3. I'm not going to lie, I've been that friend. I wonder if I had just stopped, gotten off the yo-yo diet train, maybe I would still be a size 5. Who knows? There is no way to know. But, it can't be healthy.

I think the problem is that people try and lose weight for the wrong reasons. Primarily as a physical goal to look better. I think if you lose weight for the right reason, i.e. health, you have a much better change of losing the weight and keeping it off. I also think that you have to set realistic goals. Going on the cabbage soup diet for a week or two is a recipe for disaster. I'm not going to lie and pretend that I am happy with the way I look, but I had to come to peace with myself before I was able to begin this journey. My goals are realistic. I don't need to be a size 3 to be happy, any size is fine by me as long as I am healthy and happy with how I look and feel.

So the next time I hear someone complain about how fat they are -- be careful I might just tell you what I really think ! And also, be kind, if the person sitting next to you weighs more than you than you might want to rethink your fat comments, you may just be hurting their feeling without realizing.

If you do want to lose weight, do it for the right reasons, and you may be suprised with the success you have.

Week 18 Day 128

18 weeks and 17 lbs lost. I think that is something to be proud of. My goal for this year is to lost 52 lbs total. I am just about on track to meet that goal. I am 1/3rd of the way there!

So far on this journey I have learned a lot. A couple of key take ways are:

Don't be discouraged if you're weight fluctuates by a few lbs or you don't see any weight loss one week. Often times the next week you will lose 2 weeks worth of weight.

Tracking your food is very important. Either by keeping a journal or using a web site like CalorieKing.com

The longer the weight loss takes the better chance you have of keeping it off. Learn to be patient, and it will pay off in the end.

Sharing your journey can be very helpful. The more people you have supporting you the better chance you have of staying motivated. If you feel accountable to more than just yourself that can be a great motivator.

Weight Loss

I am very happy this morning. I lost 2 more lbs. I jokingly said this morning that maybe all I really needed was to eat a bunch of Halloween candy. Anyway who care why my body decided to cooperate this week, but I am glad it did. Having PCOS sometimes it feels like my body is fighting me. Which really doesn't make sence, cause I am trying to get healthy. You would think my body would want to cooperate. I guess that is the whole point of having this condition, my body doesn't help it does the opposite. So we are down to 214 that is a total of 17 lbs lost. Yay!

Motivation

It feels like my weight loss journey isn't really going anywhere. So far I have lost 15 lbs down from 231 to 216 and I have just kind of been sitting here for the past couple of months. I don't know what I am waiting for. Some great inspiration to come along that will motivate me to jump start my progress again? I haven't given up. I haven't gained back any weight. But, I still have a long way to go, and I am not going to reach my goal unless I muster up the troops and go into battle. Right now it kind of feels like I rented a vacation home by the lake and I've just been waiting for a reason to get back to what I should be doing. Anyone got a life preservor they could throw me? Maybe a tugg boat they could pick me up on? I kid. I know the only person that can motivate me is well me. I need to search for some inspiration.

So how exactly have the past couple of weeks been? Well, Halloween candy should be illigal. Seriously we should do our kids and parents a favor and just hand out fruit. Yeah right. Also if work could be a little less stressfull then maybe I would cut down on the wine after work. I also tend to eat most of my food in the evenings when I know I should be spreading my meals out evenly through out the day.

I am worried about the Holidays. I am a sucker for holiday food and I love party food. I love having a big spread of food layed out buffet style. I could just graze all day. I'm like a cow. No pun intended. Ah well self deprocating humor isn't going to get me anywhere. What I am going to try and do is stay strong and strict over the next 2 months with the exception of Thanksgiving and Christmas. I am not even going to expect myself to adhere to any diet on those days. That would be diet suicide. If I can try and lose weight on the weeks that there are big celebratory meals then hopefully I can come out ahead over the next couple of months.

So this weeks goal is to norrow down some inspiration and motivation and get myself excited about losing weight again !