Passive - Aggressive - Assertive

I am taking this skill soft class at work entitled "Professional Assertiveness" and it is all about being a more productive member of the work force by being a better listener and also learning how to give constructive critisism. There are three types of individuals Passive, Aggressive and Assertive. The goal being to be assertive. I guess I always considered being assertive as best being described as standing up for one's self. I wasn't 100% sure so I looked it up.

as·ser·tive
Inclined to bold or confident assertion; aggressively self-assured
1. confident and direct in claiming one's rights or putting forward one's views
2. given to making assertions or bold demands; dogmatic or aggressive

In being an assertive person you must do 3 things ....

1. Act supportingly
2. Act proactively
3. Act fairly

I think I am good at acting proactively and fairly, but need the most work on acting supportingly. I've always had the kind of mentality that if it isn't getting done the way I want it or if I think I can do something faster or better, I tend to just do it myself. But really, in doing that I am not truly helping the person I am trying to help. Instead, I am doing it for them and they are not learning or growing. In the end, I end up doing it because I am too impatient to let them try and learn.

Now when it comes to contructive critisism I am the worst. I hate getting critisism and I hate giving critisism. Well at least out loud. I am not much for confrontation. I think in order to be able to give contructive critisism and be more assertive, I need to first learn how to take it. If you look at it more from an angle of respect, that it is hard for a person to confront you to tell you something with good intentions, then maybe it will be more easy to accept.


I think that all of this really does go beyond the workplace. Being more assertive and less aggressice and/or passive should be the goal overall, not just the workplace. Listening to family and friends - supporting them. Offering constructive critisism when it is asked for and usefull. Being honest and fair. Standing up for yourself, not enabeling anyone you love or care for to continue in any kind of path of self destruction. There is a whole lot to being a better person, but I think this is good information. Thanks skill soft. =)