Pretty

I decided to do something that I haven't done in a very long time. I decided to go buy a new outfit. There was a time that I dreaded going shopping. It seemed every time I went to the store I was going up a size. Well yesterday I went to the store and I grabbed a bunch of clothes and went to the dressing room and tried them on. I went into the stall with some size 18 jeans and a couple XL shirts, I guess it was just habitual. There was a time not so long ago that size 18 jeans were tight, I just never had the courage to make the leap to a size 20. Well, to my delight, I had to go and downsize all the clothes to a size 16 jeans and size L shirts. What a great feeling to go down in a size or two! I love the jeans I got they fit so good. They are even a little loose in areas. 10 or so more lbs and I think I'll be down to a size 14. I just feel better. I feel better about myself. One thing I have truly realized is that how you feel about yourself is completely up to you and is not conditional upon you being a certain size. There was a time that I felt that anything over 150 lbs was horrible. I never appreciated what I had when I had it. My favorite saying is " I wish I was as thin as I was when I thought I was fat." Maybe I thought I would never weigh what I weigh now, like it could never happen to me.  Let me be the first one to say that you should never say never. I never thought or knew I had the codition I have. I had to struggle for 6 years to find a doctor that was able to diagnose and treat me properly. I struggled with uncontrollable weight gain. And, maybe you don't have a medical condition, maybe its something as simple as getting injured or having a baby, but weight gain can happen to anyone. What I have realized is that weight is not what defines who you are. Your happiness is up to you. When I reached 217 lbs I felt horrible, but now that I am back down to 217 lbs I feel so happy and so thankful. I will never take for granted what I have when I have it again. I feel pretty and happy not because of how I look but because of how good I feel about myself for all the hard work and progress I have made.