I always knew I wanted a non traditional wedding. Most little girls dream about their weddings. I never did. So when my now common law husband asked me to marry him 4 years ago on Christmas Eve, I was ecstatic. I cried tears of joy. But, I was in no hurry to plan a wedding. I find "events" very stressful, and while I can handle a lot of stress, when it comes to stress about "happy things" I just seem to have a defective button. For instance, I could get yelled at my a customer for an hour and it would just roll off my back, but me trying to plan and go through with my own birthday party requires at least 3 melt downs.
Me after the proposal....
Sean and I had set a date a couple of times, we even went as far as booking a hall, but it just didn't work out. Sean kept getting sick. Our wedding money was spent 100 times over on medical and hospital bills. Also we were legally common law married, so there just never seemed to be that motivating thing to have a wedding. I knew I really wanted a wedding, but I was far too concerned with it living up to lofty expectations and failing. I needed to take a leap of faith.
That all changed for me when my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. I realized that I very much wanted a wedding, and I can't wait to change my last name. But, more than anything, the thought of having a wedding and my mother not being there was not okay with me. Like, if my mother passed I would probably not ever have a wedding. She has always talked to fondly about her wedding. Even though she and my father were together, like Sean and I, for many many years - it meant the world to her to say vows in front of the people she loved. There is something significant about that public display of commitment that I completely respect. It was that final push that made me realize that I was putting off something I really really wanted for very selfish and insecure reasons.
My parents wedding....
Of course planning a wedding when you and your parents are broke is quite interesting. However, I found that it has been kind of fun. Not spending $20k on one day took a lot of pressure off. IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT, IT JUST HAS TO BE. So we went small. We found a venue, a historic honky tonk , with everything I wanted in a venue : charm, an old stage, a wooden dance floor, Christmas lights hung from old wood beams, and character to boot. And it only cost $600. It even comes with a second modern building for prep or dining or whatever you want to use it for. Here are some wonderful pictures....
Guests will be transported to a different time. It will be the folksy wedding of my dreams. The nice thing about not dreaming about a wedding when you are a child, is that you have no grandiose expectations. We plan to take our vows on the dance stage. Sean is agnostic, and while I am religious, it doesn't matter to me at all whether we get married in a church or not. I believe God is all around us. That stage will be my church on that special day.
The plan is pretty simple. People will arrive, be shown their seats, and encouraged to grab a drink and a small plate of appitizers. Then after about 45 mins to an hour Sean and I will take out places on the stage to say our vows, while our guests sit comfortably at their tables. After the ceremony, we will have BBQ and philipino food cooked by Sean's step-mother. We will have a full band. Towards the end of the night we are going to have about an hour of karaoke. We have been blessed with people helping so far. Sean's good friend is providing us with an ice cream bar of galato as our gift. My aunt is going to arrange the flowers, which will be simple roses in glass vases. I worked at this very fancy wedding destination called the Vineyards, and I learned a lot about weddings. I learned that the owner's wife bought the flowers from Sam's and then arranged them herself and made a killing off of it. So all our flowers will come from Sam's and my aunt will arrange them. The only things I am still looking into is a photographer and possibly a photo booth. I just love those old time photo booths. We will provide beer, wine and champagne - while guests are welcome to bring their own bottle if they want anything harder. It is going to be very laid back, very non traditional and hopefully a wonderful night.
The first thing I did, when I decided no more excuses, was to buy the dress of my dreams. It was a $600 designer pink lace dress that I fell in love with the moment I saw it. Even better I got a deal and only paid $360 after taxes and shipping for the dress. What kind of shoes do I plan to wear might you ask? Crocs! LOL Crocs has a whole line of super comfy dress shoes and I found the perfect white wedge heel. Here is my dress.....
I knew when I bought the dress it would not fit. Designers just don't make clothes for big girls. And that is okay. It has been hanging in my closet for me to see every day to motivate me. So far I have lost 38 lbs!!! I would say that it is working. TODAY FOR THE FIRST TIME I GOT THE GUTS TO TRY IT ON. It almost fits. First I am proud to report that my breasts actually fit into the top. That was my #1 concern. But I have lost something like 6 inches from my chest and it has really helped. The only issue is the satin slip built in underneath is getting caught on my hips. I think 20 lbs and this dress should fit just right. I have 20 weeks until out wedding on December first. If I just lose 1 lb per week, I should be fine. My hope is that I can kick it into high gear and lose up to 2 lbs per week and lose 20-40 lbs more before the wedding. Nothing motivates a girl more than the thought of photos that will last a lifetime. Plus, since I got the dress at such a bargain, if the big day comes and it doesn't fit I will just buy another dress. I have already mentally prepared myself for that. Worse case scenario I have a gorgeous designer silk dress to wear later when I do lose enough weight.
The goal is in sight. I am making fantastic progress. I truly hope this day is a wonderful one, that I can share with the people I love.
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