Beauty

Well I have ventured into new territory. Giving a damn. Now that I have lost 80 lbs, I find the need to do those things women do when they care. Example. I spent 30 minutes applying lotion all over my body after I took my bath tonight. And not just one lotion, no, not even close. Nivea skin firming lotion all over. Nivea cellulite gel on my problem areas. BioOil wherever I have stretch marks (and do I ever, it's like I had a baby without the baby). Kinerese overnight repair face cream. Olay Reginerist intense repair face serum. And two kinds of peppermint foot lotions from The Body Shop. Not to mention exfoliating before. Damn I hope this stuff works. One of the biggest problems with losing weight - like there really are any compared to how awesome it is - is skin and getting it firm again. I really don't want to get plastic surgery. I just couldn't ever see myself be that girl. So I am testing out all the potions to see what works and what doesn't.

Second part of that is working out. I know that I need to tone, or I will just be a skinnier version of the fat me. I am working on that. Going through a divorce is very stressful while working a full time job - so hopefully once things settle down, I can really dive into that.

Tomorrow I am getting my hair cut and colored. As a woman with PCOS I have thinning hair. Doesn't matter that I take Spironolactone or that I use Minoxidil. It is still thin. So I am hoping my friend and hairdresser  can help me with a color and style that I can actually wear down instead of hiding up in a pony tail.

I also bought a groupon for a shallac mani-pedi. I ordered some new make-up from Ulta. And I bought some more new clothes  30% off on OldNavy.com. Because, when I was gaining the weight I was working from home and lived in yoga pants and tank tops, and now on the way down I don't have clothes that fit. I have to look and dress a certain way for my job. It is a professional environment and if I want to succeed I really do have to look the part.

I also finally decided on a goal. I started at 283. I am down to 203. That is awesome and if I didn't lose another pound I would still be happy. But, since I am on a roll and in a groove I have decided I would like to lose 58 more pounds and weigh 145 which is what I weighed before I met my soon to be ex husband and gained 138 lbs. I am 5'5" and a healthy weight for me is 152 or below.At 145 I look freaking fantastic! I am a solid size 7/8. I like that size, Not too thin and still have curves. Curves are sexy. Real men don't want toothpicks. I am already 57.97 % there. This is so do-able ! It is not about finding myself - it is about redefining myself. I am truly not trying to impress anyone. I am just taking care of myself. I was to feel beautiful on the inside and out. I want to shine. I deserve to shine.

I'll keep you posted on what products I like that work for us PCOS sisters. And I will also keep you up to date on my weight loss. If I can do what the doctors told me I couldn't then you can too. Don't ever let anyone convince you that you can't do something. DECIDE to change and do it. Don't give your power away. Be strong. Be brave. And live your dreams. Find your happiness. That is my wish for myself and all of you too !