I weighed myself this morning and I am down to 224 from 237. That 13 lbs lost in 46 days. And here is the kicker: I haven't really been trying. Now I am not going to pretend my life didn't change dramatically. I learned where I went wrong last go round : I had to let the inside change before I could let the outside change.
Note, when I say that, I say let. Another thing I did was surrender. I gave up control. My way wasn't working. I'm not a very religious person, but I have become a much more spiritual one. When I surrendered, I gave my pain, my control, my baggage, my whatever to the universe. To my higher power. And I have found that although it doesn't make sense, life starts to get a whole lot better when you do.
I have started walking every day. I don't tell myself it is for "weight loss", I tell myself it is to reduce my stress levels. I find that makes exercise seem more like a reward than a punishment. I also am simply not as hungry since i stopped drinking. Yes, it's been 46 days since I have touched a drop of alcohol. I've sold my kegarator. I'm about to sell my wine hutch. And, I've packed up all my glass ware to be given away. If I could have just that one healthy glass of wine each night, that would be one story, but I can't. I don't miss it. And, I don't miss the 13 lbs that i have lost in just under 7 weeks. I am so very proud of myself, in a good way. I am happy and excited about the future. I can't wait to go to the Dr. and get my next round of blood work done to see where all my hormone levels are. If they are good then great, if they aren't then I will keep trying. If I am meant to have children I will, if i am not I won't, and will look into adoption. And that even goes for this weight loss. If I never get back down to 140 lbs again, then se la vie, but all I can to is try. And keep trying. I know there is no such thing as perfection, but there is such a thing as doing our best.