Saturday, July 30, 2011

Progress - Forward Motion

I am happy to say I have lost 7 lbs. Sadly I had gotten up to 237. It's amazing with PCOS because it can feel like you go to bed wake up and the next day you've gained 10-20 lbs. Or you walk by the ice cream isle in the grocery store and you go up a pants size. So I am down to 230, which is 2 lbs less than when I originally started this blog July 4th 2010. Sometimes the journey is just longer, harder and more complicated than we originally planned. Sometimes we have little mini journeys within the bigger journey that we have to deal with before we can get back to moving forward. I feel like for the first time in months I am moving forward again. Let me repeat that since it sounds so damn good to say: I feel like I am moving forward again! Not backwards, not sideways, not standing still ----forward!!!! And forward is the exact direction I need and want to go. My wonderful Dr. had this ingenious idea to break the 500 mg tablets of Metformin in half and just take them more through out the day. So I now take 1 250mg half tab of Metformin 4 times a day and the side effects ( nausea, tiredness, diarrhea, throwing up, etc) have been minimal. In fact almost non existent. I also think not drinking a bottle of wine a night or whatever awful thing I was doing to myself to try and drown my depression is helping me lose weight. A bottle of red wine has between 500-600 calories in it. That's a whole whole lot of calories right there. I don't miss drinking, I don't miss the calories, and I don't miss the hangovers. I am learning how to deal with life's problems sober. We come into this world sober, I don't know why we choose to poison our bodies when we get older. Then again why do people smoke, do drugs or stuff their faces with processed junk? Life's hard. Life isn't fair. Things that bring us instant pleasure are hard to say no to. That is part of my journey. Learning to say no to the things that give us instant pleasure, in return, looking forward to a goal that is much greater and much more meaningful. I'm moving forward. I am exactly where I need to be right now.

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